Scar

    In the story Scar in The Joy Luck Club, An-mei's mother was kicked out of her home because of how she disgraced her family.  An-mei's mother's first husband had died after they had An-mei and she remarried to a man, becoming his third concubine. She was considered a disgrace to the family because in Chinese tradition, when a woman and a man marries, no matter what happens to the man, the woman must stay loyal to him.  An-mei's mother did not do this and was kicked out by her own mother. An-mei, her daughter was taken away from her mother after her mother was kicked out and lived with her Popo. Her Popo was one who continuously discouraged An-mei to have any connection with her mother and banned An-mei from even saying her name.
     The question here is whether or not family and honor should take priority over the rights of the individual family member. In the book, family and honor did take priority. Although An-mei's mother came back for An-mei, none of her family members would allow her to even get near her. They thought she would become like her mother of she was near her. I think that what Popo did was out of being ashamed of her daughter doing such things. She had to suppress the love she had for her daughter and for the good and honor of the family, kicked her out and banned her from ever coming back. 
     At the end of the story, Popo became very sick and An-mei's mother made a huge sacrafice and endured horrible pain to try to make her own mother get better. I don't think love was ever lost between the two of them, but Popo was definitely horribly ashamed of having her own daughter be the disgrace of the family. An-mei's mother came back because she still loved her family despite all that they did to her. I think she understood the reasons they had kicked her out of the family, but still kept the feelings of love. An-mei ultimately "forgets" her mother, but inside her, she will never forget her because she is a huge part of her past.