Fam Story ((Blogger wasn't posting for me, i woke up just now, 2:37 and posted))

            “As a child, I was never treated the same as my brothers and sisters. I’m the middle of five children and my older and younger brothers and sisters were favored so much more than me. I didn’t know why. It was mostly my dad, but my mom followed him because that’s just who she is. She doesn’t know how to start things herself and feels like she needs the support of my dad. I could understand.

            Let me tell you some things that happened at home. My brothers and sisters and parents all lived in the larger portion of my house in Taiwan. I lived in the basement with my father’s grandparents. We shared a small space, nearly the size of half a typical kitchen and we would sleep and I would do homework there because I never wanted to be around my brothers and sisters. They looked down on me and wouldn’t treat me as in equal. Even my younger brother and sister looked at me as a lower person despite the traditions of respecting your elders. Still, I think it was the influence my dad had on them. They saw how my parents treated me and came with the thoughts that it would be ok to treat me horribly as my parents did.

            During Chinese New Years when my brothers and sisters and I all got new clothes and new things, I always got last pick, leaving me with the ugliest and cheapest of all things in the pile of goods. I took what I can get. After all, this is the only new clothes I get of the year. All I got were my older sibling’s hand me downs while my younger siblings got a constant supply of new clothes and new toys monthly. I saw the unfairness of it all, but I couldn’t do anything about it. When something bad happened to anyone, I was blamed and punished. The only people I had were my grandparents and my two dogs.”

She laughed as she reminisced and switched to Cantonese. (This is where some of the translation isn’t direct)

            I remember those two dogs. One was a German shepherd the other was one of those herding dogs. That herding dog would hide under the couch the whole day. It was a silly dog.

            Ok. Back to the story now. We moved to San Francisco and life was still the same. When I told my dad I wanted to go to college, he told me I should stay home and work and make money for my family instead. I knew that if I couldn’t get into college I couldn’t make money anyways, so I applied using my own money. I got accepted to Cal Poly and decided to go there. When my family found out, they tried to do everything they can to put me down and discourage me from going. But I was determined. The day I had to leave for college, I had a small suit case and a duffle bag with only 200 dollars in my hands for tuition and food. As I called out a hopeful “goodbye” in my house, and all I heard was my own voice echoing back at me. I was sad, yes, I admit it, but I knew what I needed to do. I turned and stepped out of the house, heading for the Greyhound I was going to take to my new college. I’ll tell you the truth. I was crying the whole way there. But I let the excitement of college and the prospect of a new future take over me.

            Now you see why I spoil you guys so much? Now you see why I know you can do so much better than me? It’s because I didn’t have anything when I was younger. I didn’t have anyone to support me and push me towards success. Now that you have me and your dad, people who push you further than you push yourself, you better do the best you can.”

She continues ranting about things I refuse to type into blog post.

What do you learn about yourself, or your role in your family, from this story? How does the story connect to and highlight something about you?

            From this story my mom told me, I learned that my role in my family is to try my hardest and make the best of everything I have. My mom didn’t have much. I wouldn’t say she didn’t have anything because she still had a home to live in, food to eat, and other things many others did not have. But she was forced to take on a very emotionally harsh road because of the decisions and things my grandparents made. She was bought down from her true potential because of them. Even though she was forced to endure such hardships, she was still able to reach her goal. She wanted to make enough money to support herself and not depend on her parents and she wanted enough money to support a family. She has fulfilled both of these goals to an extent that I would never be able to fulfill if I were put into the position my mother was put into. It really does pain me to know about my mother’s pain and I was shown her definite strength. It shows me that I can do anything because I have the support of my whole family while my mom achieved so much without any help from anyone.

            This story was passed on by my mom because she wants us to know what she went through. It isn’t for her to get out sympathy, but it is to show us how far she has gone even though she’s had to put up with so much. 

          This story hasn't been passed down many generations at all, but I think that I will pass this story down to my children because it is important for the to know that they have the ability to do good even if they have to go through they did not have it worse than my mom in terms of family and support. When they go through a horrible time of pain and emotions, they should have something to motivate them and let them know that if someone else can do it, then they can. 

     In society, there are always fantasies for children. For example, we all go to Disneyland in our childhood and believe that every success and every bit of happiness will come without any effort into anything. Disneyland is just an example of a childhood fairytale that every child wants to live. The reality of life is much more different and is much more complex than a simple wave of a wand and everything is accomplished. Telling a story like that opens a child's eyes up and shows them the true nature of life. I fel like sharing such an important life lesson and story with my children will help them realize that they ahve to work for things and can't depend on anyone else but themselves if they want to reach success.